


singing my songs in the street

by oh_la_fraise



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: F/M, Idiots in Love, M/M, idiots. IDIOTS ALL AROUND
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-24 04:12:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19165576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_la_fraise/pseuds/oh_la_fraise
Summary: He puts Alexis's flirting out of his mind until David hip checks him as they carry out boxes, Alexis sitting on the counter playing with her phone.  He can see the muscles bulging in David’s arm under his ridiculous sweatshirt.  He smiles Patrick’s way, and it feels like a fire has been lit in Patrick’s belly, low and bright.“Hey Alexis,” he panics, “do you want to get dinner tonight?”





	singing my songs in the street

**Author's Note:**

> Did another quick write to take a break from finishing my Open Fic Night piece. Fandom has been churning out a lot of really quality but emotionally DEVASTATING fics lately, so I needed a bit of a laugh for myself. The idea for this fic was spawned by a convo in the SC Discord. Title is from Ariana's Break Up with your Boyfriend, because I'm classy like that.

Alexis has been giggling a lot—Patrick thinks she might be a little drunk, but then he realizes: _oh, she’s flirting with him._  Patrick has always been at telling when girls are flirting with him; Rachel had to make the first move—

He puts it out of his mind until David hip checks him as they carry out boxes, Alexis sitting on the counter playing with her phone.  He can see the muscles bulging in David’s arm under his ridiculous sweatshirt. He smiles Patrick’s way, and it feels like a fire has been lit in Patrick’s belly, low and bright.

“Hey Alexis,” he panics, “do you want to get dinner tonight?”

~

Patrick takes her to a restaurant in Elmdale, which is like, _so nice._ It’s not as nice as the sushi place Ted took her to on their first date, but, like a solid effort.  

“I’m really trying to move on,” she says, at the beginning of the night.  “I knew true love and didn’t seize it while I had the chance.” She wants to be honest.  And to talk to someone about Ted, because David has banned her, but mostly the first one.

He nods.  “I’ve never felt like that about anybody, I guess.”

“Mmm, a bad boy. Guarding his heart.  I like that.” Patrick looks down as if to see if his button up and blazer has transformed.  “Have you ever thought about getting a motorcycle?” she asks.

Patrick doesn’t kiss her when he drops her off, but Ted hadn’t either, and that had turned out to be the best sex of her life, so.  She thinks things with Patrick are going to be good.

~

“Patrick is taking me to a movie,” she says, two weeks later.

“How romantic,” David says, but he looks like he’s swallowed a lemon. It figures he’d be jealous.  He has that dumb energy he gets when he likes someone but hasn’t quite realized it. It makes sense—they spend a lot of time together at the store—and Patrick is always teasing him and giving him a hard time, and David is, like, enough of a mastodon to like that.  She’s thankful that Ted never teased her like that; he was always sweet and complimentary and telling her how great she was. Although Patrick doesn’t tease her either, she realizes belatedly.

She tells this to Twyla, later—not so much about David’s weird vibes but how Ted _never_ teased her and how Patrick doesn’t really either, but he does David, because even when David around Patrick is usually talking about something David did at the store, even if it’s not teasing.  That’s okay, though, because she’s training Patrick—she keeps telling him how Ted would make really dumb puns in hopes that Patrick will start.

“Huh,” says Twyla, handing over a smoothie.  It’s. . .grey, which is a little alarming, even for Twyla.  “It sounds like all you guys talk about is David and Ted.”

“It’s important that we talk about our families and past relationships,” she says loftily, feeling a little like Dr. Phil.  “That’s, like, the key to a healthy relationship.”

~

“So, wait, he slept with his ex to help your Mom out?” Patrick says, pulling back.  She thought she’d share that Sebastien was in town as a bit of salacious gossip before getting to the good stuff, but Patrick seems as reluctant as ever to go further than gentle kisses.  “Is he okay?”

“Yes?  I guess.  I think it was like, a revenge thing for him too,” she says and tries to bite his neck.

Patrick pulls away again.  “I’m sorry, I just—are you sure David is okay?  It sounds like this guy really did a number on him.”

“Okay, can we _please_ stop talking about my brother while we’re making out?”

“Sorry, yeah,” he says, and leans up to kiss her.  It’s half-hearted, his mind clearly elsewhere.

Alexis pulls back this time, frustrated.  “Okay, the only time I’ve had this much trouble convincing a guy to go further than first base with me was when he turned out to be gay—”  She stops, shocked, as pieces fall into place. _I really like working with your brother.  It’s good that it didn’t work out with him and Sebastien.  David seems like a pretty good person to me._

He stares at her, obviously confused.  Poor thing. “Alexis, I’m not—”

“You talk about David all the time.  You said you never felt strongly about any of the girls you dated.  You don’t seem that excited by making out with me, and I’m _me_.  I was 98% of the reason for the original Liam/Miley break up.”

He sputtered.  “That’s not—what about you?  You don’t seem that interested in making out with me either, because you’re always too busy talking about Ted.”

“Well, duh,” she says, because it was obvious.  “I’m in love with Ted. And you’re at least in very strong like with David.”

“What?  I, no, what?” he repeats, like a broken record.  She squeezes his shoulders. “Go be free, Patrick, and confess your big gay love to my brother.” _Ew,_ she thinks at herself, and then promptly stops thinking about her brother’s love life.  “I’m going to go make out with a very hot vet.”

~

“Um,” says David, after Ray has finally left.  He looks around the room, eyes zooming on a fresh new horror every five seconds.  “I’m sorry, I knew you lived with Ray theoretically—”

“David,” Patrick says, sounding amused at David’s rambling.  

“I um,”  he swallows.  “ _IsawAlexismakingoutwithTed._ ”  There, it’s out.  “Please, _please,_ don’t quit the store from a broken heart—I’ll disown Alexis if  you want; I’m really disappointed with her—”

“David,” Patrick says again in that same amused tone.  “We broke up this afternoon.”

David tries to process that, takes a brief detour that somehow Alexis has already gone back to Ted in less than six hours, which seems like a shockingly short amount of time to get over someone like Patrick—his brain circles back around to the fact that Alexis and Patrick broke up.  “Huh?” he says, quite eloquently.

Patrick is full on smirking now.  “Yeah. We were both interested in other people.”

If Patrick is into Stevie, David is going to fling himself off the top of the Cafe flag pole.  “Oh?”

Patrick takes a step forward, eyes darting down.  “Yeah.”

Patrick, it turns out, is very _not_ into Stevie.  

**Author's Note:**

> Join me on tumblr at ohlafraise.


End file.
